by Gwyneth Storm Garcia
“Yes.” is a phrase that most, if not all, people want to hear, for it expresses agreement or willingness. It is a positive statement that assures us and allows us to sigh with relief.
But have you ever nodded your head, even if it was against your will? Do you constantly need to prioritize other people’s needs before your own? Do you put up a facade just to fit into the molds of other’s expectations?
Is it simply in our nature to be “nice” and exhibit acts of kindness, or is this the relentless desire to be accepted?
A people-pleaser is someone who has an emotional need to please others. They are labeled as helpful and always willing to lend a hand. But at what cost and extent? This feature sheds light on what truly happens beyond the surface, helping us self-reflect or put ourselves in others’ shoes.
“I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try. I’m still on that trapeze. I’m still trying everything,
to keep you looking at me.” Here are a few lyrics from Taylor Swift’s song titled “Mirrorball.” These lines confuse many, as they question what it has to do with a glass ball.
From a literal point of view, mirrorballs, also known as disco balls, are objects made out of broken glass that hang in the middle of a dance floor. They barely attract attention in the dark, but once a light shines, it reflects, illuminating the surroundings with beams of color.
This is the same case for people pleasers. Some specific individuals purposely stand at the center of a crowd but still go unnoticed. They are invisible until needed. When you direct the spotlight at them, they are radiant and immediately become the life of the party. But once the lights dim and the doors close, they are left high up on a pedestal, patiently waiting. They are the mirrorballs of society.
Their multiple personalities represent a tiny facet of glass amongst the thousands that make up its entirety. Their authenticity has been sacrificed, for they have long shaped their lives to accommodate the wants and needs of others.
People pleasers are often driven into self-doubt and neglect by their insecurities and fear of rejection. They crave even the smallest crumbs of validation and believe that selflessness can attain love, praise, and a sense of belonging.
The mirrorballs of society may appear shiny and perfect on the outside, but underneath their unwavering smiles, there is a raging battle in their minds. They are always faced with the difficult decision to either listen to the desperate call to choose themselves first or the lingering whisper to continue being everyone’s safety net. By shedding light on this behavior, we can foster a better world filled with empathy and acceptance, wherein everyone can be their true selves and find happiness that is not rooted in the approval of others.
